I have been married 18 years to a lying narcassistic man.  He is unbelievably selfish.  I went to counseling for depression and realized he was emotionally abusive and sometimes physically.  I am sick of the lies and ready to leave.  He has never cheated on me (I dont think) he just lies about family and money etc.

I am deciding now how to do it.  Get my check and move me and the kids to an apartment and have him served the divorce papers, or serve him the papers and have him move out and keep the house.  I am not sure what is the right thing to do.  I can afford the house.  Better than he can after paying child support,  I am not worried about losing the kids because I am a childrens counselor and know better than he does how to take care of children. 

What is the best way?  What did others do?

Any help would be great.