I am a "closeted" 33 year gay man, and I need a world of advice.  Closeted is in quotes because I think it's fairly obvious to most people what I am, but I never acknowlege it.  I'm going through a health crisis that has lasted nearly a year.  I've finally decided that if I don't fix my life soon, I'm going to end up alone forever.  The trouble is that I have no idea how to be "gay."  That is, I don't know how to do things like make friends that I'm comfortable being gay around, much less how to find a boyfriend.

Here's a little background information.  I come from an extremely religious family that was very reclusive.  Nearly 100% of the reason I've stayed in the closet is my fear of their wrath.  I've resigned myself to the fact that coming out will probably break all contact with them.  My real problem is that I've become so reclusive myself because of my uncomfortableness with be an "out" gay man that I don't have anyone else to lean on if everything blows up in my face.  Basically, even though I don't get along with my family, if I lose them, I have no one else.

I don't really know where to start.  I guess I'd like to start changing my life just by finding some friends around whom I can be myself.  Even just having people I can talk to online is a huge step in the right direction.

I would appreciate any advice on how to getting started on this new part of my life.